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  • Cyborg
    • Cyborg
    • Runtime:86 min
    • Release Date:2014-09-17 09:29:40
    • Director: Albert Pyun
    • Genres: Action, Sci-Fi
    • Studio:
MOVIE REVIEW:Cyborg
Auhtor:

   

Gibson Rickenbacker(Jean-Claude Van Damme) is a loner of a man whose
life has been destroyed in the post-apocalyptic 21st Century America.
Then two things happen. First he has an interaction with a robotic
woman who seems to have a cure for some kind of plague disease that has
wiped out most of humanity. Then he meets up with a street dweller
woman who decides to aid him in his quest against a group of
cannibalistic troublemakers who have taken the robot woman away.

To start things off, a lot of the characters in this film seem to be
named after guitars. Gibson Rickenbacker wanders around a wasteland of
ugliness for a good portion of the film talking to ugly people about
ugly things in an ugly way. The cinematography is… terrible. Everyone
in the film looks sinfully grotesque, and that includes Van Damme, who
I consider one of the most handsome action heroes of the early 90s. His
character is awash with disgusting looking scars and he would probably
look like a burn victim if the scars didn't look so fake. His face is
coated with dust and dirt from start to finish, except in flashbacks
where he looks like a stereotypical romantic hero on the cover of a
romance novel.

The whole film is full of recycled and unfinished landscapes from
unfinished films and it's pretty obvious that the set-designer was
pretty halfhearted in his attempt to put together a post-apocalyptic
wasteland. The people who shot this film obviously did not have any
idea how to shoot a film. The whole film looks like a bad home movie.
The characters aren't framed well at all and you don't really ever get
a good look at any of the characters at any time. The fight scenes are
so badly edited that it becomes frustrating to watch. There's some
especially bad jump cuts near the end of the film that really will
grate on the nerves of anyone. All of the characters, at one point or
another, end up shrieking in the face of the audience REALLY LOUD.

It is also one of the most annoying films I've ever sat through, let
alone listened to. There's a sequence where Van Damme is crucified for
no particular reason, as well as a lot of other real disgusting acts of
violence that come across as out of place for some reason and I'm left
wondering, who was entertained by this? There's no cool moments of
triumph, no good fight scenes or gore, no slick one-liners, no
interesting villains, no interesting heroes, and no cool science
fiction touches. It's ironic that the film's title is Cyborg, because
the film doesn't exactly feature much in the way of electronic
machinery. Essentially, this is basically a film in the style of Conan
the Barbarian, only with some guns and a briefly appearing robot. Those
are pretty much the only two things that make it in any way related to
the science fiction genre. All of the dialogue in the film is pure
exposition, and it's all pointless in every way. There is exactly zero
chemistry between Van Damme and the opposite female lead, and their
scenes together are often frightening and embarrassing.

For a late-80s action film, you'd think it would be really tough to be
lacking in entertainment value, in every possible way. Enter Cyborg,
which is by far one of the least entertaining films I've ever watched.
Please keep in mind that I love the films of Jean-Claude Van Damme and
I actually really have liked a lot of his direct-to-video work. This is
definitely the worst film in his filmography.

Please do not watch this film.I urge you not to waste your time with
this. I can pretty much completely guarantee you that you will not like
this film. The film is 86 minutes long, but it is so horrible and
utterly unwatchable at times that I can promise that it will feel at
least an hour longer. By the time Van Damme leaves the village at the
start of the film, before there are any fight scenes that last longer
than thirty seconds, there is only an hour left of the film. It is the
longest hour I have ever experienced with any film. It is so long that
I struggled really hard to not fast-forward. This is one of the worst
films I have ever seen.

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When this movie came out, I absolutely loved it. I was in 7th grade at
the time and JCVD was already a big action star with his movies Blood
sport and Kick Boxer. I haven't seen this flick for years now, and I
wanted to revisit the post-apocalyptic adventure once again, but I
didn't own on DVD. While cruising through the channels last Saturday
night, I came across Cyborg on TV. I sat down and watched the movie
entirely, and then I realized how bad this movie was. Times change and
so does our perspective toward movies, perhaps this has happened to you
when you absolutely like a movie and you see it years later, and your
feelings change completely.

Story…

Cyborg takes place sometime in the future, when a deadly plague kills
most of mankind causing chaos throughout the world. The remnants of
humans are left to survive against warring gangs and pirates that have
total control over the land. A small group of scientists manage to
input information of the cure for the plague in a half woman, half
cyborg which needs to take such information to Atlanta. Gibson
Rickenbacker (JCVM) is a mercenary hire to escort Pearl (Cyborg) to
Atlanta, but they are pursued by a menacing gang of pirates lead by
Fender who want to have the secret cure to for himself. Unfortunately,
Pearl is kidnapped by Fender. After recovering from the pirates attack,
Gibson tracks down the pirates and meets Nady, a chubby girl whose
family was killed by the plague. But Gibson motives are more than just
the cure, he want revenge against Fender who before killed his entire
family years ago.

Cyborg, is pure 80s low-budget cheese and there's no denying that. The
story is simplistic, but with potential. Unfortunately, the story was
poorly executed and it was clear that the director was focus on the
action, not the story. But even with the movie's plot holes and poor
set design, it has its moments.

The positives

1. There's no doubt that the highlight is the action. JCVD delivers his
trademark kicks and screams that made him so popular in the 80s.

2. The antagonists are quite intimidating. Unlike other movies were the
villains are portrayed as punching bags, in Cyborg they present new
challenges to the protagonist, especially the main villain, Fender, who
looks like he spawned out for a video game.

3. The costumes: the wardrobe reminded me of the Road Warrior movie,
which is a good thing

The negatives

1. The limited budget was clearly reflected on the set design. Most of
the action takes place out in broad daylight in abandoned buildings
that look too pretty neat and clean for an apocalyptic future. It is
clear that they didn't take the time to at least make the future look a
little bleak

2. Although some of the fights are quite enjoyable, others are just
plain ridiculous. The fights where Nady is involved in, are so awkward
and out of place that I lost count of how many times I rolled my eyes

3. The acting is below average. I know JCVM is not a great actor, but
as an action star, his acting is forgivable. But the rest of the actors
are just terrible. No wonder they didn't work in anything else after
this.

4. The screenplay is the worst thing in this movie, looks like it was
written by a 10 year old.

If I keep going I never finish, but I have to admit that watching this
retro-junk brought back some nostalgic memories. This is not a movie I
would recommend if you haven't seen it, I would only recommend it to
those who saw it back in the day just for the laughs. Of course, I have
to admit it was a guilty pleasure watching it again. The only thing I
was missing was the beers and the pizza.

Interesting note: Apparently this movie was going to be a sequel of
Masters of the Universe and for some reason Cannon Films and Mattle
canceled the project. Later Cannon decided to come with the idea for
this film. Although this was supposed to be a sequel to He-Man, Cyborg
looked more like the anime Fist of the North Star.

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