THE BEST PROMOS
- Ong bak 2
- Runtime:98 min
- Release Date:2017-01-24 14:26:04
- Director: Tony Jaa
- Genres: Action
MOVIE REVIEW:Ong bak 2
For years I have called the original Ong Bak "Who stole my Buddha
head?", and The Protector was always "Who stole me elephant?". After
all, that was entirely the plot of each film, pushed out to 90 minutes
by the breathtaking physical feats and awesome fighting abilities of
one Tony Jaa.
So I guess this is welcome to "Who stole my Buddha head 2?" Nope, this
is a prequel my friends, and it has nothing to do with Ong Bak
whatsoever! They could have named it The Protector 2 and it would have
made more sense, after all one of the talking points in this film is
the mastery the main character has over elephants.
This will forever be a mystery to me. But as I watch these films for
the fights, not the plot, who cares? A long, long time ago, before
sweatshops. Before live sex shows. Before even pirate DVDs.
A feisty young boy is taken by well oiled and muscular pirates and
thrown into a pit to fight a crocodile. If he survives he can they
never really say, I guess no-one survives.
Of course he survives, and that well tanned and muscular young boy
grows up to be musical superstar Pink! No wait, that was another young
This boy is taken in by pirates and taught martial arts, mainly by a
senior pirate with horribly dodgy facial hair. The boy's name is Teean,
and after 20 minutes or so of boring stuff he is a pirate.
After a few more minutes of filler, including a bunch of sweaty
grunting fights with various guys using different fighting techniques
Teean becomes the 2IC of the pirate gang, not bad for a talentless hack
whose main claim to fame is some tattoos, a nose ring and the ability
to safely tuck away her dick No wait that's Pink again. It's easy to
get confused with all the sweating and grunting going on, sorry.
About this time the film starts using bizarre and annoying flashbacks;
Now he's 7 again. Now he's 13ish. Now he's 18. Annoying and
unnecessary, get to the fights already! There is a cool drunken Muay
Thai scene that effectively shows off Tony's skillz, an elephant riding
scene, that if it wasn't computer generated was a cool stunt, and some
clumsy scenes that serve to show us that Tony/Teean has one last
mission before he can accept the main Boss spot of all the pirates.
Or something. Half way through I lost track of the plot and started
twiddling thumbs waiting for the next fight to start. There is less
action in this than in either "Buddha Head? 1" or "Elephant? 1", this
is simply too long and repetitive.
The last fight is good but also suffers through repetition, and the
likelihood is that you simply start waiting for this thing to end.
As with all Tony Jaa movies you only watch them for the fights and
stunts, so to summarise.
* Ong Bak had better fights, stunts and action.
* The Protector had wayyy better fights.
Final Rating 5.5 / 10. Tony Jaa might be the best athlete and martial
artist in fight scenes today, he just makes sh*tty films in between
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