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  • Piranha
    • Piranha
    • Runtime:88 min
    • Release Date:2017-01-18 19:12:07
    • Director: Alexandre Aja
    • Genres: Comedy, Horror, Thriller
    • Studio:


A friend recommended me to watch it on New Year's Eve.

Well I must say that I was totally disgusted by this movie!

It begins with the over-used concept, "They came back to kill
humanity!" Than the rest of the content are boobies, partying and
killing with bad CGI and bad acting. What I actually spent money on was
some stupid horrific porn movie.

The only thing that I gave it a four was because of the naked girls
with big boobies. (Can't help it, I'm just a man.)

I don't recommend you to see this movie especially not for New Year's
Eve unless you want to see some naked girls.


*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This was a very mixed bag for me – It was nice to see Richard Dreyfuss
in a cameo role – a really nice homage to his character Matt Hooper in
Jaws – its a shame they couldn't have made a Jaws 5 with him in it, but
never mind.

The film starts well – Dreyfuss is the victim of a violent attack and
it sets up the tone for the rest of the film, but it must be said I
wasn't quite expecting it to be as it was, despite its 18 Certificate.

In truth, the actors and the characters they portray aren't anything
much to write home about – the acting is pretty standard at the best of
times and Elizabeth Shue is so-so in the role of the main protagonist,
even though it feels she isn't.

I thought that the younger actors actually did a good job in the film -
Jerry O'Connell's character comes over as annoying. Despite the fact
he's meant to be like that in the film, he was annoying none the less
but he does have some good moments. O'Connell is not the greatest actor
I have had the pleasure to see on screen and feel that he's pretty one

It was great to see Christopher Lloyd on the screen though even his
performance reminded me of the mad scientist and was reminiscent of his
performance as Doc Brown in Back To The Future – he didn't give this
part variation which is why I kind of felt I was feeling deja-vu. That
said, Lloyd is a fantastic actor but here, it somehow just felt
slightly wrong but I like Lloyd as an actor and feel he does bring a
presence to the screen.

The Piranha aspect was one of the highlights of the film and make
creditable antagonists which is why we've come to see the film anyways.
The attack scenes are particularly effective yet somewhat gory and
there is a bit of humour thrown in, especially with O'Connell and the
loss of one of his assets, though I won't dwell too much on that, but
makes for one of the most amusing, yet unexpected scenes in the

As I explained, the film itself is distinctly hit and miss, perhaps
just slightly more hit than miss, but unfortunately, you can't feel
that you can get too much into the film because you're always going
from one extreme to the next. Its not a poor film, but not anywhere
near as effective as it could and maybe should have been under the

I'm looking forward to see what the sequel can offer.


This may be the first film review where the review is longer than the
script that was to make it, in fact I think it took me longer to write
this than it did to make the first 2/3 of the film, and don't worry
this will be brief.

Someone mentioned over a mouthful of sandwich one day "Alexandre how
cool would it be if ancient fish came back and attacked Spring Break
kids…?" and Mr Aja said "Stop right there! I'LL NEED 16M, WE START
Wednesday!" The plot is this: Ancient fish come back and attack a bunch
of kids at Spring Break.


There are thousands of vacuous party-idiots at Lake Victoria. Idiots
that need eatin'.

Among the boneheads is sleazy T&A filmmaker Derek (Jerry O'Connell),
his cameraman and a couple of immaculately disproportioned young
chickies to point the camera at.

A wide eyed young local boy of about 17 named Jake dodges babysitting
after being conscripted for location finding duties (they then film the
ladies underwater rendering the locations pointless I would have
thought). Must've been a big choice for a 17 year old – "Sitting".
"Titties". "Sitting". "Titties." "Oh who am I kidding?" His female
fancy Kelly also hitches a ride to provide a damsel who will somehow
attract a certain level of distress.

The babysittees are both about 8 and just independent enough to get
themselves into trouble, and to cap it all off the local law
enforcement seems to consist of Ving Rhames and Jake and the two kids
mum (Elizabeth Shue gunnin' for that second Oscar).

When seismic activity opens a fissure into a water-system, unleashing a
species of long since thought extinct vicious cannibal piranhas anxious
to try new taste experiences the plot goes out the window. Feeding

The last 20 odd minutes are a blood soaked orgy of shredded flesh and
screaming teens.


There are many boobie shots in the film but the film slows down enough
to feature a couple of assets more prominently – and to be fair there
is pretty good reason.

There are hundreds of kills but the film slows enough to feature a few
of the more graphic, and with many deaths comes much gore, some
computer generated and some good old fashioned effects: guy's body
through the floor kinda stuff.

I didn't love Piranha 3D and it didn't bring much new to the table, but
it knew exactly what it wanted to be and was very efficient in that.

You don't have to do much research to find out that there is a lot of
flesh on display, both the good kind and the gore kind, this is where
Piranha 3D excels, the only improvement might've been trying to put a
couple more jokes into proceedings.

Piranha 3D ends up in the company of films like Dog Soldiers, Black
Sheep and Zombieland, but two or three more decent rib-ticklers might
have pushed this a little closer to classics like The Descent, Tremors
and Slither.

Final Rating – 7.5 / 10. Piranha 3D is a fun horror film. Boob-induced
hypnosis will keep the young blokes squirming in their seats until the
bloodbath starts… and then it's the dates turn to squirm.


*** This review may contain spoilers ***

An horror movie has to have certain elements to be good: a virginal
hero or heroin that survives at the end, an almost invincible villain,
some nudity, some sinners that die during the film, and some blood. Mix
all this together and multiply it by 5 and the result is "Piranha 3D".

The story centers on a local boy, Jake, who's mother is the local
sheriff, and who has to take care of his small brother and sister
instead of going to the great party that is celebrated every year in
his town, Lake Victoria. He leaves his brother and sister alone to go
to the lake with some girls and have a good time, the problem is that
an earthquake has released some prehistoric piranhas that lived in the
subsoil of the lake, and they are very hungry of human flesh. Now, the
local sheriff(Elizabeth Shue) must safe his family and the entire town
from the underwater menace.

The plot doesn't go further, it is actually simple and ridiculous at
the same time, but the result is an entertaining movie that covers
every expectations. However, it is not Psycho or The birds, it is only
everything that you can expect from a Killing fish movie, it is not
great but it is good, and it lefts a satisfying feeling by the end.

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