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  • Shark Attack
    • Shark Attack
    • Runtime:100 min
    • Release Date:2017-01-16 21:48:27
    • Director: Bob Misiorowski
    • Genres: Action, Horror
    • Studio:


Shark Attack (1999)

** (out of 4)

A marine biologist played by Casper Van Dien (yeah, I know) goes to
Port Amanzi Africa after his best friend is mysteriously eaten by a
shark. It turns out that shark attacks are up all over the region so
Mr. Van Dien must find out the cause and it turns out that a greedy
real estate owner (Ernie Hudson) is having sharks eat people so that he
can buy up all their land. Sounds plausible, right? If you walk into
this movie and are willing to turn your brain off then you might get
some mild entertainment out of it but if you're one who needs to take
everything serious then it's best to stay away from this thing. This is
certainly a bad movie and it's the cheese factor that gives it some
unintentional laughs and a lot of them come from Van Dien's
performance. He's certainly not very believable in the role. You know
how in a great performance the actor can make you believe everything
they're saying? Well, in this film it was very hard to believe that Van
Dien knew anything that was coming out of his mouth and the viewer can
tell this. That's part of the reason for the laughs but another is
because his character comes off like some sort of ancient gladiator.
There are a couple scenes in the film where people are getting attacked
by sharks and the brave Van Dien just jumps into the water, swims over
to the shark and takes care of the situation. I'm no shark expert but
I've seen Shark Week on Discovery enough to know that you don't go
messing with a shark during a feeding frenzy. The majority of the shark
scenes are obviously just stock footage taken from real sharks. It's
obvious because each time we see the "main" shark it's different in
size than the previous time we saw it. The attack scenes are also
rather cheap.


1. Not watching Shark Attack 2. Looking through a book of carpet
samples. 3. Finding your first grey pubic hair. 4. Toilet training a
two year old, and finding a brown present in their room. 5. Talking to
someone about how they like their eggs. 6. Wondering whether or not to
buy a melon, then deciding against it. 7. Waiting in a post office
queue, then being informed by the pensioner in front of you that there
is nothing worse than waiting in a post office queue. 8. Being beaten
around the head by an angry mob in a market in Sarayevo 9. Using the
IMDb message board to waffle on about some subject no one cares about.
10. Being sent into battle during the Somme.

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