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  • The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D
    • The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D
    • Runtime:93 min
    • Release Date:2014-04-21 08:28:00
    • Director: Robert Rodriguez
    • Genres: Action, Adventure, Family, Fantasy
    • Studio:
MOVIE REVIEW:The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D
Auhtor:

   

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl is a poor 3D film made for kids
and by an actual kid. Supposedly, Robert Rodriguez's seven year old
son, Racer assisted Rodriguez in writing the screenplay for this film,
but that doesn't mean I'll treat like anything less than a movie. Just
because a seven year old probably wrote more than half of it, it's
still a movie in a wide release. I have full right to nitpick it. While
I will say Racer has creative and inventive daydreams, I don't think a
movie was entirely necessary; especially in the tiresome, droning 3D.

The 3D dates back to when RealD was never out. The Red/Blue glasses
ruled mostly from 2003 – 05. I remember Spy Kids 3D: Game Over and this
film being the prime examples and topics for best 3D movie in my
school. I disagreed with both films. Both movies' 3D value really
sucks. It completely tones down the color scheme and even in 2D the
film still has the "Glasses On" thing informing you the upcoming scene
will be in 3D. It should read "Colors commencing off in
five…four…three…two…one…off.

So the movie's plot is dam sure a seven year olds dream. It reminds me
of when some of the classic stories like Alice in Wonderland were
written when the author was on drugs. I could almost drag out my bong
and make something like this. Max is a loner at school. He's bullied by
everyone, but there's much more than meets the eye about him. He
carries around "a dream journal" in which he writes down his thoughts
and ideas as they stem from his creative head.

We then go into the world of Sharkboy and Lavagirl who magically appear
during a tornado when Max is at school. They take him to "Planet Drool"
where dreams rule (no pun). The goal is to stop "Planet Drool" from
being taken over by Mr. Electric. So the whole movie is the
protagonists trying every which way and going through every obstacle
trying to achieve what one would assume be an easy goal.

It's another kids film so don't expect much of the plot. The visuals
are nice…if the 3D wasn't added. The biggest gripe of the film stems
from the 3D as stated before. I dug out the DVD of it and watched it
that way and my memories of my assumption of my vision being shot when
I watched it all came back. I repeatedly ask my mom if my eyes weren't
working because everything looked drab and lifeless. This is the kind
of film that has a lot of vibrant visuals and some great shots of water
and lava. Don't use 3D which tones down the brightness.

The Adventures of Sharkboy & Lavagirl is a failed experiment of a
movie. It's an unnecessary, predictable film ruined by it's lackluster
3D scheme. While all three kids are fun loving, adventurous, and
likable protagonists and the moral of the story is a good one, I think
kids will be too busy taking off their glasses, asking lots of
questions, and wondering why the colors look like colored Easter Eggs
that were put in the dye for thirty seconds to hear what the moral was.

Starring: Cayden Boyd, Taylor Dooley, Taylor Lautner, David Arquette,
Kristin Davis, and George Lopez. Directed by: Robert Rodriguez.

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This was a horrible movie that needs to be torn in half. Then thrown
into a pit of lava along with the other half to covered with blood and
be thrown into a pool of sharks to tear it into shreds. I hated this
piece of abomination of mankind. I did not to see this movie at all. It
reminds me that sometimes, writers, producers, and directors make
horrendous movies on purpose. I don't care if it entertains kids, it is
a god awful movie that blurs the lines of reality.

I did not care about the heroes of this movie, I was rooting for the
bad guys. The acting was terrible. The special effects are a joke and
only made for the 3-D. The story is absolutely retarded. And I swear to
God this movie was written by a Donkey's vagina. It was not
entertaining at all.

-1,000,000,000,000/10

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