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- The Country Bears
- Runtime:88 min
- Release Date:2013-09-16 00:11:53
- Director: Peter Hastings
- Genres: Comedy, Family, Music, Musical
MOVIE REVIEW:The Country Bears
This is without a doubt one of the creepiest kids movies I have ever
seen. Scarier and even more grim than How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
The Country Bears are based on an attraction at the Disneyland Theme
Park, but who thought a movie on these creepy bears would be a good
film and declare it greenlight? I remember when this film came out I
said it was scary and odd. But in 2010, I faced my fear and pressed
play on this pathetic excuse for a film.
If you've seen the bears in this movie, you know why this was panned.
The bears are overwhelmingly fake and just cant be taken seriously. I
believe that the technical effects were either CGI or just guys in
suits. Either way, it looks appalling. Not one human cares that they
are on the same floor as a bear. I'm waiting for the actor to just
start laughing. How anyone, especially Christopher Walken can take this
seriously is beyond me. This is a joke. Christopher Walken is a great
actor, who's nice to see in a film, but he is just letting his career
slip when doing crap like this and the 2006 "Comedy" Click.
The plot involves Beary (voiced by Haley Joel Osment) a bear obviously
who runs away, after learning he is adopted, to Country Bear Hall to
see the band try and reunite the band he idolizes after a ten year
absence. Country Bear Hall is going to be tore down by Reed Thimple
(Christopher Walken). Beary is determined to get the band back together
to once more hear their music, and to save Country Bear Hall.
This plot probably wouldn't have pulled through for any other movie.
The plot isn't special, we know they'll find a way to save it, and to
top it all off, Country Bear Hall doesn't even exist so why care? But
the fact that bears are the lead singers makes the film even worse. The
imagination may have worked for a five year old kids dream or a thirty
year old's nightmare, but an 88 minute movie watching bears prance
around the stage singing cover songs is WAY too excessive. We should
get a kick too on how Willie Nelson and Elton John state they got
inspired by creepy talking bears. Did singing bears really inspire
Willie and Elton to sing the spectacular songs they sing today? Who
knows? Back to the Christopher Walken issue again, it's just an honest
shame to see him waste his talents in an abysmal film like this. Its
torture to watch a great actor do a poor job and play as someone he's
not meant to play. Like Robert DeNiro in The Adventures of Rocky &
Bullwinkle. Its a mystery why no other well known actors were used. If
you're going to ruin Walken's career, why not take on Nicholas Cage's?
Robert DeNiro's career? Leonardo DeCaprio's career? Or do they know
better not to be in a film with bears? Probably, anyone would. Except
Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Kevin Michael Richardson, Diedrich Bader,
Brad Garrett, Stephen Root, Toby Huss, Candy Ford, James Gammon.
Directed by: Peter Hastings.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
..is that it contains the indelible sight of Christopher Walken
performing "The 1812 Overture" via armpit farts yes, you read that
right for a captive audience of bipedal, talking redneck bears. And
Walken is joined in this bit of lysergic lunacy by no less than Elton
John, Bonnie Raitt, Alex Rocco, Willie Nelson (!!!) Wyclef jean and
Brian Setzer, so it's simply got one brain-trampling moment after
another. Yeah, I know it's a kid's film, but what kids were clamoring
to see this? Was it made as a tax write-off? But even with those
burning questions in mind, it's certainly a truly bad movie, but I sat
through it in a state of greatly amused slack-jawed disbelief, so I say
see it. Preferably girded with a couple of sixers of beer.
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