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MOVIE REVIEW:War, Inc.
Exceeding shallow, contrived leftest parody of the US war on terror.
Very predictable plot with the actors just moving through the endless
106 minutes of this with no life or feeling. No real plot or story ark.
Just constant easy, shallow jabs at the US armed forces and the US
actions in the mid-east. Typical jump-on-the-bandwagon, hate America
stuff that some in Hollywood think is great social commentary.
In short – not funny – not engaging – not well acted – really not well
As I stated in my summary…
This movie made me think often of the directorial style of Terry
Gilliam. It has the same hallucinatory feel, except for the fact that
it remains more focused on actual facts than much of Gilliam's work.
There is also a greater ferocity in its indictment of the modern status
quo, and a more detailed exposure of the cold machinations behind the
curtains of the Great American Imperialistic Extravaganza. I found this
movie to be well constructed, with excellent acting all round. This
film is viciously, tragically funny, right up to the final frame.
Perhaps the reviewers and voters who panned War Inc. were made to feel
too uncomfortable by the truth it serves up, and ended up shooting the
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The people who made this monstrosity all deserve to get shot in the
face by Dick Cheney. It is a dumb, ridiculously caricatured, snotty
little mishmash of cartoonish criticisms badly aimed at President
George W. Bush and Iraq. Whenever you hear Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity
or other conservatives whining about Hollywood liberals, films like
War, Inc. are exactly what they mean.
Brand Hauser (John Cusack) is an assassin in a black suit who's been
given a new assignment. He's to go to the Middle Eastern nation of
Turaqistan and kill a businessman who's threatening U.S. interests in
the region. Hauser is also supposed to be running a trade show that's
showing off the latest products of Tamerlane, the company that's been
put in charge of rebuilding Turaqistan after invading it with a
mercenary army. Oh, and Hauser is supposed to make sure that global pop
sensation Yonica Babyyeah (Hilary Duff) gets married to her Turaqi
fiancée. While doing all that, he also finds time to romance a leftist
journalist named Natlie Hegalhuzen (Marisa Tomei), who's come to
Turaqistan to expose what's going on in the country. That's all I'm
going to tell you about the plot of this movie because remembering even
that much is giving me post traumatic stress flashbacks.
Basically, War, Inc. is supposed to be a satire about the U.S.
occupation in Iraq and the use of private military contractors as an
instrument of American foreign policy. That's what it's supposed to be.
What it actually is, is an insultingly awful, nonsensical, arrogant,
self-righteous, 107 minute long fart of a film. The story is beyond
stupid. The characters have all the depth of pudding skin that's been
left out in the Sun to dry. The humor is cringe-inducingly unfunny. The
satire has all the bite of a toothless meth addict. The movie's
portrayal of Arabs would be racist if it weren't so incompetent that
you can't be sure what you're seeing. Even the sets and the costumes
look cheap, like they were borrowed from a VH1 dating show. Every
second you watch this movie is like getting slapped in the face with a
stinky catfish. Every moment you listen to this film is like hearing
puppies crying. I actually couldn't view War, Inc. all the way through
in a single sitting. I had to stop halfway through, pop myself some
popcorn and have a drink of water because it felt like my brain was
going to seep out of my ears.
Joan Cusack gives the worst performance of her career in this rotting
turkey. If a Joan Cusack sex tape ever comes out, I'm sure she'll do a
better acting job in that than she does in War, Inc. Hilary Duff is so
terrible, this role should end her career. I don't just mean as an
actress. Based on her work here, she should never be hired again to
act, sing, write, direct or even work security at a studio lot. The
only job she should be able to get is something in the field of medical
The only way I could make it through this movie without killing myself
was to squint really, really, really, really hard and pretend that the
Cusacks and Dan Aykroyd were making a sequel to Gross Pointe Blank
where Martin Blank was having a very bad acid trip.
The only people who should like War, Inc. are George W. Bush, Dick
Cheney, Don Rumsfeld and Condoleeza Rice. That's because compared to
the pretentious jackasses who made this movie, they don't look all that
bad. Sarah Palin shouldn't have spent the 2008 campaign telling voters
that Barack Obama "pal'd around with terrorists". She should have said
he pal'd around with these filmmakers. She and John McCain would have
won in a landslide.
Not Grosse Point Blank by a long shot, but still an alright film; think
critics are being a bit overly critical here but maybe that's just me,
the film sort of blows but Cusack's performance in this film is great
it like Martin Blank 10 years on (see Grosse Point Blank). I'd say
that Cusack needs to find a new agent, and fast, as his talent seems to
be being wasted on rubbish as of late. Even in films that suck he
himself always puts on a good performance. There is some great dialogue
from Cusack akin to the aforementioned Grosse Point Blank; but sadly
not even close to the same calibre. This film was recommended to me by
a friend saying it was' the spiritual sequel to Grosse Point Blank' and
in that I can see the comparison.
Like most sequel it blows when compared to the 'original'. This film
just seems to be trying to relive the best bits of Grosse Point Blank
(GPB) but fails. I think due to the very slapstick, and immature style
of the satire in the film. In GPB there was no political commentary
behind it; it was just a beautifully executed 'dark romantic comedy'.
The fact that this film touched on a very real issues with obvious
links to recent international events should have made this a dark, edgy
film, and hilarious but as I said above, due to the immature style that
it seem to approach it with just ruins that poetical, and just lowers
the tone of the film; this is only highlighted more by the sometimes
though provoking dialogue between Cusack's and Tomie's characters;
making it feel like you're watching two different films at the same
time and nether gel together right. If you've never seen GPB then watch
War Inc. first and follow up with GPB as War Inc. will only enhance the
comic genius behind GPB.
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